How to Survive: Someone Not Liking You

Though we try to conform however we can to avoid this issue, it’s inevitable. We are bound to have at least one person dislike us at some point in our lives. Unfortunately, I’m someone who has a real problem dealing with this. I hate when people don’t like me, and typically, will do whatever it takes to make them realize how charming and not crazy I am. But then, they read my Blog and find out I’m a nutcase writing about my inability to accept that there are people out there who don’t want to be my friend. BE MY FRIEND.

I’ve always had this issue, even back when I was really young and didn’t have many friends. Don’t get me wrong, I had friends, they just didn’t know it. But I wanted a best friend. I was looking for the Miranda to my Lizzie, the Chelsea to my Raven, the Kenan to my Kel, but whenever I’d find a new potential (victim) gal pal, they’d never want to become blood sisters or brush my cats or anything! I’m kidding (About the blood sisters part). I’d never do that. I have a very low pain tolerance. Instead, I’d make them show their commitment by forcing them to wear the friendship bracelets I got us from Claire’s.

My point is, I don't just like to be liked. I need to be liked. And when I’m not, it makes me a little crazy. Let’s hope there’s at least one soul out there like, “Me too! You’re not a total psycho who should sign up for Bumble BFF because the only real communication you have throughout the day is with your cats or the barista at Starbucks!”

Just so we’re all on the same page, I’ll break down the exact steps I go through when someone doesn’t like me.


Step 1: Denial

I mean, it’s not like this person flat out said, “Hey, I hate your face and your personality makes me wish you had a mute button,” but whenever they look at me, it feels as though they’re imagining me getting thrown out of a car window on the freeway, during a tornado.


Step 2: Am I crazy?

This is the part where it starts to feel as if it’s all in my head. Every time I try to tell my friends how I’m absolutely positive this person hates me, they all try to convince me that it’s just my anxiety talking. How is nobody else noticing Susan’s look of repulse when I enter the room? And did they not see when I sat down, she purposefully sat a whole seat away from me, leaving an empty seat in-between us, just to remind me that she’s plotting my demise?


Step 3: Compliment, Compliment, Compliment

“Oh my god, you are so funny. And you have great hair, which probably means your mom was beautiful and raised you with a high self-esteem. You’re definitely not going to die alone. I can just feel it,” I would say to the girl who hates me because how can you not like someone who just complimented your self love and said you might actually find a significant other in this cruel, unforgiving world?! Exactly. But when even that doesn’t work, it starts really driving me up the wall.


Step 4: Over analyze everything

Why accept things for what they are, when you can spend hours reliving a three second moment when you smiled at a complete stranger and they didn’t smile back? Welcome to the over-analyzing part of the process. This is where I think about every moment I’ve ever spent with the person, trying to figure out where things went awry. I’ll look back on every look, comment, laugh, insincere giggle, everything. I will figure out what it is they don’t like about me, and when I do…I’ll probably go back to Step 3.


Step 5: I DON’T EVEN CARE           

So what if you don’t like me? My cats like me! My mom likes me! My therapist likes me! And he knows how absolutely bat shit I am, so why would I care if you don’t like me? I have plenty of friends. I’m just going to stop being so nice! Next time you wear a cute cardigan, I’m not going to say how it makes your eyes pop! I’m so over trying.


Step 6: Acceptance

Now, this is when you’ve completely given up and try to just pretend it doesn’t bother you when they say something awful. Truth of the matter is, when someone feels the need to put you down, they’re the ones that are actually feeling bad about themselves. It’s cheesy, I know. But it makes you feel a little better every time you hear it, right? That’s why I read this two hundred times every night, before I go to bed. I’m kidding! It’s not a big deal if someone doesn’t like you. It’ll be fine. You’ll find so many people who do, just join Bumble BFF today!  #Ad

selfhelpRenee ArielComment