7 Dates in 7 Days
Recently, I decided to do a challenge. Not like a Fitness Challenge or Clean Eating Challenge or anything. That sounds awful/like I would need willpower or self-discipline. Man, I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
Instead of doing something good for my well being, I challenged myself to get over my irrational fear of first dates by going on 7 of them in 7 days. Yup, that's right, one date a day for an entire week.
Now I know what you’re thinking. “Renee, you have trouble dating? But you’re so cool and laid-back and not uptight at all.” I know, guys. It’s hard to believe considering I rarely leave my apartment and spend most of my time watching reruns of Friends alone with my cats. As Matthew Hussey would say--aka the Love Coach who sends me a weekly newsletter because I'm one of the lonely women who gets some sort of validation having a hot Australian guy tell me how to text men--I'm, "a woman of high value."
Anyway, let’s go through these dates, shall we? I mean, I had to write about them. I suffered through some real awkward moments and if I can’t complain about it on the Internet, did they even really happen? I didn’t just do this for a diary entry. Who the hell is going to read my diary? My cat? I prefer attention from complete strangers/ friends/probably some of the guys I went on dates with.
I don’t know how high your self-esteem needs to be before you stop needing people to feel sympathy toward you when it comes to your most uncomfortable moments in life, but clearly mine has yet to reach that level. So, please proceed to feel bad for me, and if you feel like sending an edible arrangement after finishing this article, I really enjoy their chocolate covered strawberries.
I swapped out all of the guy's real names for some fun nicknames that I thought fit them nicely. Enjoy!
Date 1: Mr. Right
If you think I’m calling him Mr. Right to make fun of him or be ironic in some way, you’re wrong. I met Mr. Right last semester in my Psychology of Communication class. He was tall, smart, and gorgeous. We barely spoke to each other aside from a few short conversations in class, but he seemed like a cool guy. After the semester ended, we kept in touch via Facebook chat, but it was nothing more than scattered, friendly banter. That was until a couple weeks ago, when I drunkenly messaged him saying, “Hope you’re still communicating effectively.” I know, I have so much game. Do you want to start taking notes now or...? To my surprise, he responded to that message the following day. And somehow after a few exchanges, it turned into me telling him we should catch up over drinks. Now, I’m still not 100% sure this was a date, but I’ll walk you through it.
We planned a day to meet and Mr. Right ended up letting me pick the place, which I liked. And obviously, I chose a nearby bar with impeccable street parking. He showed up right on time and looked hot. He was model tall, had on dressy casual attire, topped off with a killer smile. His cheekbones could cut the sexual tension in the room, that was most definitely one sided. If I remember correctly, he was walking in slow motion.
We hugged, he ordered our drinks, and the conversing began. This guy was so close to being perfect, I kept trying to figure out what was wrong with him, throughout the entire date. I was literally asking him questions like, “what’s something embarrassing about you? Do you have a bad habit? Do you like anything dorky?” Yea, you definitely shouldn’t do that when you’re out with a guy for the first time. But in my defense, if you were sitting there, hearing all these great things about this beautiful man, you would be asking the same thing. I’ll lay down some specifics. He's a certified pilot, lived all over Europe for modeling, left modeling to become a lawyer, was asked to be the next Bachelor, goes on runs with his dog three times a day, and to top it off, he won a car for being Ohio’s safest driver. I know. This guy. I can’t.
Anyway, by the end of the date, I still wasn’t sure if it was a date or not. He did mention at one point that he lives with the "yes man" motto, so maybe that's the only reason we went out. But honestly, I couldn’t really figure out how I felt about it. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I had fun! We were at the bar for almost four hours. But when we parted ways with a hug and continued to text about a tv show, I considered this to be more of a friendship.
Date 2: Mr. Irish
Yes, Mr. Irish was Irish, accent and all. I met him on Bumble several months ago, but we never went out because the thought of being alone with a complete stranger, who could potentially turn out to be a total psycho, made my stomach turn. However, when I decided to do this challenge, I hit him up because I figured it was time to see if Mr. Irish and I had any chemistry, once and for all.
For our date, we decided to go see the movie, “Don’t Breathe.” Some people think seeing a movie is a terrible first date. I disagree. First off, the beauty of a “movie date” is the fact there’s a perfect time frame. You have a set activity that will end after two hours or so, and from there, you can decide whether or not you want to extend your time together. It’s all up to you. You have the power.
I was the first one to arrive at the theatre by like thirty minutes. Did I go in when I was on time? No, of course not. Instead, I waited in my car until I was “fashionably” five minutes late. Mr. Irish ended up being twenty minutes late due to traffic so I was still early. When he did arrive, he was even cuter in person, not to mention the perfect height for me. The “I can wear heels around you” kind of height. Which, if you know how tall I am, is a big deal.
I gave him a hug and we began walking to the theatre. Those few minutes we were walking and talking were really awkward. I didn’t know what to talk about. I didn’t know what to joke about. He was sweet and polite, but chatting with him was a struggle because his conversational vocabulary consisted of maybe five words.
I was actually grateful we only had those small windows to talk before and after the movie. It wasn’t anything against him, he was a really sweet guy. But when two people don’t fit, it’s obvious. We did end up going on a second date but that’s another story.
Date 3: Mr. Two Names
I’m not talking about a first and last name. I mean this guy actually went by two totally different names because one was his actual name, given at birth, and the other was his stage name he used for acting. To be honest, I preferred the stage name because it sounded fancy but he insisted I call him by his birth name or whatever, and I obliged because I felt it was a weird argument to put up.
I met Mr. Two Names at a restaurant job I had for fifteen days. He was my coworker and he was gorgeous. Did I have the guts to ask him out while we worked together? Of course not. Instead, I creepily hit him up via Hot Schedules, a site servers use to pick up shifts. In this case, I used to pick up a guy. Yes, I may have been a few glasses of wine deep with my friend Christine, who actually sent the message…but, hey, it worked! It was something along the lines of, "Yo. I think you’re cute. Let's get drinks. Here's my number."
Surprisingly, he texted me a couple days later and we ended up going to the same bar I went to with Mr. Right. I’m sure the bartenders were slightly curious at this point, but oh well. The date was okayyy. I was very attracted to him, but as for the conversation, I didn’t think we had much in common. In fact, our whole conversation is a blur. Is that terrible? I remember we talked about TV shows and the movie he was in. It was great hearing about his acting but I also remember thinking about how great it would’ve been to be home in my PJ’s, talking to my cats. Instead, I listened to his thirty-two minute scene-by-scene breakdown of the Indie film he did two years ago. I was attracted to him enough to hope he’d kiss me at the end of the date, but no such luck. He did, however, invite me over for brunch the next day. No, I did not go.
Date 4: Mr. Creep
As you may have guessed, getting seven guys to go out with you within the period of one week can be a bit difficult. So, on day 4, I had no choice but to pick a rando to fill the slot. I did what any girl would do: I got on Bumble and hit up as many guys as possible so I could then narrow it down to the ones that could meet within the next four hours. And that’s how I found Mr. Creep.
I had a weird feeling about it before even getting there, so I begged my friend Christine to tag along and rescue me if I needed saving. Because of this, I chose a bar I'd never been to with terrible parking that was closer to her, for convenience. Christine and I got there a few minutes early and sat at the empty community table that was parallel to the actual bar. We sat 6 seats away from each other, acting like we had gone there separately, whilst texting back and forth, waiting for Mr. Creep.
Mr. Creep was fifteen minutes late. When he finally showed up, he appeared to already be drunk. Off to a great start. He came right over to me and sat down, without asking if we should order drinks. In fact, it wasn’t until about 15 minutes in that I finally went, “should we order a drink from the bar?”
He nodded and went to order our drinks. Those few blissful minutes he was away were my favorite moments of this entire date. When he came back, things got uncomfortable. First off, he kept rubbing my leg and touching my dress. When I told him that I didn’t like to be touched, he responded with, “It’s good to get out of your comfort zone.” This went on for a few minutes as I did not know what to do. So, I started listing off crazy "facts" about myself, hoping he’d back off. I remember saying something like: “I'm really uptight. My therapist says it’s fine but that I still need to work on my issues with control. I have a lot of cats. Also, really bad anxiety.” But he kept touching me and at this point, had his leg blocking my only exit.
I began to panic and scratched my head (which was supposed to be my signal for Christine to come save me) but instead of doing so, she got up and walked out of the restaurant. Apparently she thought that signal meant “pretend to leave,” but I thought she was leaving for real, so I panicked and called after her. When she turned around and came over to us, I played it off as though I just noticed her and she was someone I knew from acting class. Christine went along with it while Mr. Creep continued to be creepy and touch me. Though Christine was there, I still didn’t know how to leave so I did something out of the box. I began breathing heavily and said that I needed to see my therapist because I have separation anxiety and missed my cats. He started to look a little concerned, but not concerned enough to let go of my leg, so I then proceeded to fake cry and crazy laugh until Christine said we needed to go find my therapist and we left the bar together. Yup, we left him. Yes, I felt bad for leaving like that but he was SO CREEPY. Later that night he texted me, calling me a 'see you next Tuesday.' At that point, I wasn’t sure if I could continue dating online.
Date 5: Mr. Dickhead
I know you probably were thinking it couldn’t possibly get worse than Mr. Creep, but Mr. Dickhead stole the cake for worst date I’ve ever been on in my life. I met Mr. Dickhead on Instagram. For all the gruesome details, watch the video below.
Date 6: Mr. Unexpected
After my date with Mr. Dickhead, I was beyond over this challenge. This was another day I didn’t have a date planned ahead of time because my other one had cancelled, which meant I’d have to find another Bumble rando. And fast. Pulling myself together, I got on my phone and swiped until I found someone who could meet me with a two hour notice, as I was on a time crunch and filmed that night. Considering this was even less of a warning than I gave Mr. Creep, I was terrified. But I swiped and swiped until I found Mr. Unexpected, who looked like a model but had a normal job (Financial Analyst). He told me 6pm would work, as long as he skipped the gym. Not sure why guys feel the need to tell you about their gym routine, but I just said, “Cool, see you there.”
I met Mr. Unexpected at a cool bar I liked nearby (also has amazing parking). He was a few minutes late but when he arrived, I completely brushed it off because he was even more attractive in person. Still having very little expectation given my previous two dates, I gave him a hug and we sat down. I then proceeded to have the best date I’d had all week.
He was funny and dorky, and our personalities meshed well. He was different than the other guys I went out with. He was weird, but in a good way. We talked about everything from our families, to the worst dates we’ve ever been on. I remember laughing a lot. Did I mention how hot he was? He was GQ level hot. And he had a great personality. And he was into me. I was completely overwhelmed. I was expecting to drink through a semi awkward hour with some bumble rando, who would hopefully say one sociopathic thing so I could Blog about it. Instead, I liked him. Which was weird and unexpected (wink, wink). Anyway, this date definitely gave me the push I needed to get through Date #7 and possibly even a Date #2 with Mr. Unexpected...
Date 7: Mr. Great (For a Friend)
Mr. Great (For a Friend) was another fish I found in the Bumble sea a couple hours before the meet up time. I was probably a little distracted going into it because I went on such an amazing date the night prior. I met Mr. Great (For a Friend) at the same bar I went to with Mr. Unexpected.
I will say, Mr. Great (For a Friend) was another looker, but my feelings remained platonic. We did have good conversation though! I learned all about every injury this guy has ever had, which was quite the list! This guy broke both of his arms at the same time, got a bad head injury, broke his leg, had to get stitches almost every where, and even broke a few fingers/toes. Meanwhile, I’ve broken the same bone twice. Because I'm an insane person, I found his injuries very interesting, especially the facial lacerations he received when his 10-week-old kitten catapulted onto his face while he was in bed reading. Between the variety of ways he damaged himself and his unwavering love for cats, we had plenty to talk about. However, I felt as though we were better off as friends. I’d definitely set him up with someone because he was such a sweetheart. In fact, I messaged him a week later and am currently in the matchmaking process.
So there you have it, folks. All 7 of my dates. It was a unique experience that I recommend to anyone who wants to try something new and uncomfortable. But hey, I did learn quite a bit!
7 things I learned on 7 dates in 7 days
1. It’s easy to get a date nowadays. Just ask an array of people to grab a drink. At least one of them is bound to say yes.
2. Some guys are the worst, and don’t deserve your time of day. If you have to walk out of a date, just do it. Who cares? What are they going to do, call you on your Google number that you gave them because you have trust issues?
3. If you go out with a bunch of guys at once, you forget who told you what. Which can be awkward during the second date (if you make it that far) and you forget how many sisters he has or where he’s from or what his last name is.
4. Talking to people is easy and that’s all a first date really is. It’s getting to know someone new and seeing if you click.
5. Everyone is different therefore every date you go on will probably be a little different. Just feel it out with little expectations.
6. Speaking of expectations, the times I’ve gone in with absolutely none, it’s worked out the best.
7. Dating isn’t so bad!