Why I'm Single
This is a question I get all the time. Not because a ton of people are blown away at the fact the only cuddling I do is with my cats, but because typically guys ask me this when they’re trying to ‘flirt’…And also because I have family members that want to make sure I don’t end up with a cat husband.
So I’ve decided to answer this burning question in typical Renee fashion. On my Blog. That way, in the future, I can save my breath, while also promoting my quirky comedic writing. So here you have it family, friends, and potential love interests…this is why I’m single. So please stop asking.
1. According to my therapist, I’m emotionally unavailable. So typically, I don’t like to open up or show any kind of vulnerability in relationships, which is actually very similar to how I am when I play Monopoly.
2. I don’t love our current dating culture. Perhaps this is because I watch too many romantic comedies and will not kiss you unless I’m in the middle of a baseball field with a five-minute timer going, waiting for you to come find me after I’ve professed my love to you in the newspaper.
3. I’m a terrible texter. I’ll either send 10-15 texts in a matter of two minutes or forget you exist completely, for 3-5 business days. Apparently guys find this “confusing.”
4. I have cats. Yes, plural. Get over it.
5. I haven’t met the right guy. Aka Ryan Gosling has yet to get a divorce and run into me at Starbucks. Plus we’re in a drought so I don’t know when we’ll be able to kiss in the middle of a rainstorm.
6. I idealize every guy I like and then lose all interest as soon as they are not the person I built up in my imagination.
7. I’m busy and with the little free time that I do have, I’d rather spend it with my cats and a bottle of wine.
8. Typically when I think I have it “in the bag” with a guy I like, it usually turns out that he has no idea about this bag, who I am, or why I keep liking his pictures on Instagram.
9. I don’t put myself out there. Mostly because I don’t go “out there.” And by
“out there”, I mean “outside of my apartment.”
10. There aren’t that many guys over 6’2 and I really enjoy wearing heels.
11. Dating in LA is very similar to pursuing a career in Entertainment. Full of false hope and disappointment.
12. I want to be courted. No, I don’t mean “like all my photos on Instagram, then never ask me on a proper date because you have a fear of rejection.”
13. I’m independent and the thought of sharing a life with someone at my age is suffocating. Not to mention I don’t think my bed has enough room for me, my cats, AND you.
14. When I like a guy, I give mixed signals (According to Christine, who is basically my wife), yet still assume that they know I like them, and then write them off completely when they don’t ask me out.
15. My idea of “going out” is going to happy hour at 5 pm for a glass of Prosecco and half priced apps.
16. I have a Blog where I write about my dating life and some guys don’t want to be written about. Which is weird because Carrie never had this problem in Sex and the City.
17. I have a Blog where I write about my dating life and some guys do want to be written about. Some even suggest nicknames for themselves. No, I will not call you “Christian Grey”… but I will call you “Yet Another Actor Who Takes Too Many Selfies.”
18. I listen to too much Shania Twain and now my standards are ‘Any Man Of Mine’ high.
19. Chasing after emotionally unavailable men is my cardio.
20. I just typed up 19 reasons why I’m single.
There you have it. Call me!