Let's Be Honest: Finding Your Soulmate
I’m just going to say it. We all want to be loved, whether you want to admit it or not. Does that mean we need a man to complete us? No, not at all. But it is nice sharing moments with someone special. It’s nice having that person to call when we receive good news. But how do we find that person?
It's hard to stay hopeful, especially after a bad break up. Break ups suck. Even when we know breaking up with that person is probably for the best. Well, at least for us. Definitely not for our ex, because, let’s be real, for them, it’s all downhill from here. Break ups make us feel as if we're never going to find someone truly right for us.
Plus, it’s hard coming to terms with starting over. Letting a new person in, who could very well shatter our heart…Coming to terms with all of the bad dates we're probably going to have to go on before finally having a single decent one. It sucks.
I was chatting with a friend recently, and she said something that really got me thinking. We were talking about how hard it is meeting guys, and she said, “If someone told me that I would for sure find someone, I’d stop looking.” And then it hit me.
This is why we never listen to our friends when they tell us, “It’ll come the second you stop looking.” Because… first of all, how the hell is that going to work? And honestly, what if it doesn’t? What if I’m supposed to meet the love of my life on the 900th bumble swipe? How do any of us really know? What if my person was framed for murder and is currently in prison or what if they settled for a relationship they’re not happy in and that’s that?
It’s a scary thought, right? There are, what, like 8 billion people on this planet or something? I should Google this, but I’m not going to. Okay, fine I Googled it and I was extremely close. There are 7.4 billion in this world. But here’s the issue.
Out of those 7.4 BILLION people, only 325.7 million of them live in the US. Which, sure, sounds promising, but let’s get real. I’m not going to meet my Prince Charming in Wyoming. I live in Los Angeles, California, where there are about 3.9 million people. Honestly, no wonder we have so much traffic.
But how many of those people are men…and how many of those men are single…and out of those single men, how many of them would I actually be interested in…and out of THOSE men that I would be interested in, how many of them would be interested in me?
Not to mention, it's not like we're going to meet every single one of those guys in the percentage. Sure, we have all this technology to connect with new people outside of our regular circles, but is that really the best way to meet someone? Maybe for a lot of us, but is it the right way for me to meet my person? I judge guys when their "about me" section is longer than three sentences and includes anything about “going on adventures,” because, sorry Justin, but hiking up Runyon is not an adventure.
Honestly, how are we supposed to meet people? Is there a proper way? Don't tell me to let things happen organically. Letting things happen organically doesn’t exist anymore. If I meet a dude at a coffee shop, you know damn well I’m about to do a deep dive background check to make sure he’s not married or like, a serial killer. And after that, even if he does check out, I know too much. Because then I have to pretend like I don't know how many dogs his aunt Susie has and act like I have no idea his ex girlfriend Monica teaches yoga across the street from me. Sure, there's a fear nowadays that comes with knowing too little, but I don’t think knowing too much is good either. So where do we stop?
I want my very own “meet cute” like every other rom com couple we’ve ever seen. I do. And sure, if I’m in the right place at the right time, it could happen. But what if I were to be a few minutes late to the coffee shop that day? Or too early to pick up my library book? What if I already missed them?
I wish I had a moral to this. But I guess this was my way of just letting you know that you’re not alone. Also, f**k your friends in happy tinder relationships who try to tell you that you’ll find him once you stop looking. I feel you. It’s scary. It's the unknown. And we can only hope we find ourselves at that right place at that right time. But in the meantime, if it makes you feel any better, you won't die completely alone, if you have a few cats.