A Few MORE New Rules For Dua Lipa

Pretty much every girl loves the song New Rules by Dua Lipa and we’ve definitely all performed it in our cars at some point. It’s catchy and empowering, plus makes some damn good points. I mean let’s be honest. We shouldn’t pick up the phone, since he probably is only calling because he's drunk and alone. And sure, if we let him in, we'll probably have to kick him out again. And let’s not even get started on what happens when we try to be his friend. But I think Dua missed a few rules on her list, so I took this opportunity and added them in myself.

*DISCLAIMER: My rules do not flow with any beat of any kind.*

4.) We are constantly teaching people the way we want to be treated. I know, with your ex, it may feel comfortable hooking up and keeping them around... BUT if you continue to treat them the way you would if you were still in a relationship, minus the commitment, I can almost guarantee you'll never get back together. If you're already giving someone everything they want, why would they change their behavior for the same result?

5.) It’s time to erase your message thread with this guy, so that you don’t end up getting wine drunk and scrolling through your texts all the way back from January of 2015, to reminisce about that one time he said you “kind of look like Olivia Culpo.” This might make you forget why you aren't talking to him. Don’t let that happen.

6.) Don’t hang on to those things he left behind at your place. Either have a mutual friend return them or throw them out. The reminders will not be helpful. Hell, you may find yourself sleeping in that one T-shirt he left behind. You'll tell yourself it’s just because it’s comfortable. You know what else is comfortable? Your actual PJs. Go find them.

7.) Do NOT check in with him to see how he is doing. He’s fine. He’s somewhere out in the world, breathing and everything. Have you ever heard Madison Beer’s song “Dead?” Because in the song, he told her he couldn't live without her, and surprise, surprise, he was alive and well after they broke up. The dude is fine. You’re fine. You both just need some space. 

8.) Start a new TV show or a book. This is your opportunity to turn a negative into a positive. Pick up a new hobby or something, because there’s going to be a LOT of times you feel weak and may come close to texting him. Don’t. Instead, watch all 4 seasons of The Killing on Netflix or read Jenny Mollen's book, I Like You Just The Way I Am. It’s productive and will keep you from hysterically crying to your friends about the same dude for the 400th time.

9.) STAY OFF HIS SOCIAL MEDIA. He’s still getting stupid drunk with his buddies on the weekends, and don't worry, the rest of the days, he's at his boring 9-5. There’s nothing new. Checking in will only make you feel as if you’re missing out even when you’re not. And trust me, you’re not.

10.) Get a good “I’m over you” play list going. If you can’t make yourself feel like you can move on from this, I’m sure Dua Lipa can. I mean, for real. Did you not see how happy and free she felt by the end of her ‘New Rules’ music video? That’ll be you. yellow sunglasses and all.


So there you have it. Dua, if you wanna add these to your song, you have my permission. Just give a girl some credit.