This is How I Know You'll Get Over Him
I know that when you're trying to get over someone, it feels pretty much hopeless. But trust me, it's going to happen. Here are 9 reasons I know for sure that you are going to be a-okay without that loser.
1. Let’s talk about Nick Jonas. Sure, he’s a sexy man with the voice of an angel/ the only guy shorter than you that you’d even consider dating, but he’s also a dude with commitment issues. Do you remember when he broke up with Olivia Culpo? Olivia freaking Godsend Culpo? This guy has issues, just like your ex. And I’m sure you’re probably thinking, “but my ex was one of a kind, what if no one else makes me feel the way he did?” Well, before you fret and start crafting dramatic subtweets in hopes he’ll see them and beg for you back, remember this. Miley Cyrus was once heartbroken over Nick Jonas. At one point, she thought Niley was forever. But then she found Liam. Your ex was a Nick. Find yourself a Liam.
2. Think about your iphone GPS for a second. You know when you miss a turn and your GPS tells you to make a right at every damn street with practically no warning until you eventually turn around and get back on it’s original route? Well, if you miss enough of these turns, sooner or later it’s going to reroute. And so will you. So stop worrying about what’s behind you and focus on what’s ahead.
3. Your past relationship is like a movie from your childhood. You have such fond memories of it. From time to time, you’ll probably think about all the parts that made you laugh and feel warm inside. Now try re-watching it. All of a sudden you’ll realize Homeward Bound was literally a movie where you watched two dogs and a cat walk through a forest. If you want extra effect of how mediocre this childhood masterpiece was, watch it with your TV on mute. I know. Anyway, if you don’t believe me, it’s on Netflix. No, Netflix did not sponsor this post but I wish it did. #Callme
4. Taylor Swift successfully got over Harry Styles, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, Calvin Harris, Tom Hiddleston, Joe Jonas, AND Jake Gyllenhaal. You’re going to get over that lanky man-child who still lives with his parents.
5. Remember when Ben Higgins picked Lauren Bushnell because they thought they were each other’s “person” (which Lauren 100% stole from Grey’s Anatomy)? Sometimes people just aren’t meant to be. Should’ve picked JoJo, Ben! Or tried a few years of therapy to get over your fear of commitment.
6. He’s going to become less cute. Right now he's the one you're most attracted to, the one whose smile makes your heart melt, but that’s only because you have this unfortunate thing called a heart. Which holds these annoying things called feelings. Which make us see people more attractive than they actually are. But it will fade. Just like his good looks. Then what does he have, a sneaker collection?
7. At one point, Aaron Carter was your celebrity crush.
8. I’m pretty loyal when it comes to Starbucks. I used to only go to this one location, even though it was way out of my way. I liked the people who worked there, loved the parking situation, and overall just enjoyed that Starbucks. I never thought I’d find another one so special. Then I moved and decided to try the Starbucks closer to my new place. Just once. But once turned into twice. And now they know me on a first name basis and have my order ready before I even walk in the door. My point is, you’ll find someone better. Sorry old Starbucks, it’s been real.
9. Do you know what your favorite song is going to be in a year? No? Exactly. Because you have no idea what new songs are being written right now. Or how you’ll be introduced to them. Or what they’ll look like. We’re not talking about songs anymore. My point is, he’s out there. So, chill.
& There you have it!