How to Spot a Fuckboy From 10 Miles Away

Okay…maybe not 10 miles. But listen, if I know anything, it’s how to spot a Fuckboy. Here are 10 key signs.

1.     He doesn’t seem nervous on the first date. If a guy really likes you, he’s going to be a little tense when you hang out for the first time. If he’s a player, this is just another day at the rodeo for him, so he’s going to seem like a love interest straight out of your favorite Rom Com. Don’t buy it. Unless it’s Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling can break my heart any day.

2.     He only likes pics of hot girls on Instagram. Most likely a bunch of different girls, mainly lingerie models and athletic hotties that seem to live in yoga pants and Victoria’s Secret pushup sports bras. If you notice this early on, run. RUN!

3.     He jokingly says something like, “I’m an asshole!” This is not a joke. It’s a warning. Go find yourself a nice man who will sit through The Bachelor with you. Scratch that. Go find yourself a man who low key loves The Bachelor and volunteers to bring the wine every Monday. (On that note, who’s excited for January 2nd?! Can’t wait to meet Nick Viall’s future ex wife!)

4.     His Instagram is 95% selfies. Mostly gym selfies. Like, we get it. You work out.

5.     He guilts you. For example, when he asks you to hang out and you don’t answer right away, He’ll send you a message like “guess not :(“ and expect you to immediately text him back an apology with an explanation of why you took thirty minutes to respond to his very romantic “wanna come over?” text.

6.     He keeps you on the DL and refuses to publicly associate himself with you on social media. I mean, hey. If you’re in the early stages of getting to know someone, this isn’t a big deal. But if you’ve been seeing each other for a while and he still untags himself from every photo of you guys together, it’s time to reactivate your Tinder account.

7.     He’s constantly trying to get you to send pics. If this guy is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he’s going to want to get to know more than just your body, no matter how bangin’ that body is.

8.     He’s a stereotypical actor or musician. Must I go on?

9.     He’s always talking about himself and never asks you any questions. Two weeks in, you already know how his parents met, where his prom was, who bullied him at camp, what year his goldfish died; meanwhile he still forgets your last name.

10. He’s super vague about what you guys are. For example, he may go on and on about how he doesn’t want to see you with any other guys, but when you ask if he’s seeing anyone else, he’ll respond with something like, “I’m not seeing anyone.” When he says this, he means it. He’s not seeing anyone. Including you. If a guy wants to be with you, he’s going to be straightforward. Any vague answer means he’s just stringing you along.

There you have it, folks! 

xo

Renee