TWENTY

So, I’m twenty now. That happened. What is it like being twenty? Not much different than being 19, except for the fact that I can no longer call myself a teenager. There’s no teen in my age anymore. So now I can’t be like, “I’m sorry I’m such a silly teenager, mom.” Now there’s responsibility to that statement. It turns into, “I’m sorry I’m such a silly adult, mom.” And that just doesn’t work. There is disappointment behind that sentence, you know? So let’s hop right to it. What does it mean now that I’m officially in my twenties?

Well I still can’t legally drink or go to bars, so it’s a good thing I prefer to stay in my apartment and watch movies with my cats, right? My “night life” involves Netflix, a bag of pita chips, and my bed. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Renee why are you such an elderly person?” I mean, what. Do you like to “go out” and “mingle with other people” or something? I mean I guess I get that. I just personally like to mingle with a crunchy snack and catch up on Devious Maids. (Did anyone else watch that season finale?! Crazy!)

It’s so weird being twenty. I feel so young but so old at the same time. There are things expected of me now. I’m expected to be an adult. But here’s the problem, though I enjoy my “retirement home inspired” activities, I have quite childish hobbies as well. For instance, if you look at a board game and it says “for ages 7 and up”, I’ve most likely played it, became really good at it, and now own it so I can force my friends to play me when they come over. Basically I love board games and am extremely competitive. Especially in Monopoly. Oh my god.  And yes monopoly is a bad example of a “7 and up” game because I doubt any 7 year old is like, “Oh my god! Let’s spend several hours yelling at each other over owning properties and going bankrupt and eventually either forfeit or have someone beat us so bad we don’t speak to them for the rest of the night!” But nonetheless, I love this game. I’m a big game person. Games are just the best. How many more times can I say game? Game.

Now that I’m twenty, I suppose I should get bigger on the whole “cooking” and “cleaning” deal.  I despise both. But let’s get real. Who really likes cleaning? No one ever says, “Friday night! you know what that means…Time to mop till we drop!” It’s just not a thing. And if it is a thing and there is a person out there who is like this, we should be friends. I will let you clean my apartment whenever you like. But in all seriousness, I should really start liking these two things. Especially cooking. It’s time for me to embrace (find) my inner Martha Stewart (Pre Jail). You can only survive off of goldfish and deli meat for so long.

So yea. The big Two Zero. Crazy. I spent a good while thinking of how to blog about being twenty. I was going to do “20 Things you Can Do When You’re 20” or “20 Things About Me” or “20 things I learned at 19”. But I decided to just kind of ramble about getting older. Hope you enjoyed it!

Happy Birthday!

(Have you ever done that super awkward thing where a stranger says “Happy Birthday!” and you say “you too!” and you realize instantly that what you said didn’t really make sense because it’s not their birthday but you don’t think quickly enough so you just walk off trying not to look back thinking they probably think you’re an idiot for not turning around and laughing or even making a little joke about it so you spend the next hour or so just replaying it in your head even though it’s such a small thing and totally doesn’t matter but of course bugs you just because. Maybe that’s just me. Okay that’s all. Bye!)

Renee