I’M GETTING MARRIED!

So recently my mom sent me to yet another psychic, probably because the last one told me she “didn’t see love in my future”. No worries guys, according to Bev (the new psychic), I’m going to meet my one true love in November and get married within a year! So I guess I’m meeting Ryan Gosling sooner than I thought. Hopefully his divorce will be finalized by then.

Just to be clear, I’m not rushing to get married and the thought of being stuck with someone for the rest of my life in just 12 short months makes me nauseous. My therapist says it’s because I’m ‘emotionally unavailable’. I think it’s because I’m “a girl in my 20’s.’

In fact, I don’t want to even think about marriage until my mid 30’s. Thankfully that’s getting more and more socially acceptable, I think. But Bev is convinced my Prince Charming is just dying to put a ring on it (totally not surprised. I’d want to marry me too.) So, I guess we’ll see?

But I am a little concerned. Is my therapist right? Am I emotionally unavailable? It’s very possible, considering I am only attracted to other emotionally unavailable people and have issues ‘opening up’. But like, so did JoJo and she just ran off into the sunset with Jordan Rodgers, literally. So there’s still hope for me too, right?

I mean, yes. I want someone to come over with Dominos pizza and binge watch Game of Thrones with me, but like, at the same time, I’m totally okay with that person bringing the pizza being the Domino’s delivery guy and watching TV alone with my cats.

So I guess what I’m saying is that I like being alone and don’t want to get married for a while. I’ll just have to tell Ryan to take a chill pill.

Shout out to all the people without commitment issues!

xo

Renee Ariel