1. You want the chase, to the point of being completely unattainable. Whether that means he is emotionally unavailable or just actually taken by somebody. But just like all of the romantic comedies in the world, your crazy mind will tell you that you’ll get him in the end.

2. You want the spark. You know. That love that you can write a song about. Basically your relationship could easily be compared to a Taylor Swift album. Yes, the angry songs too, because if you don’t have the ups and downs, your relationship would be boring.

3. You want comfortable. Who likes first dates? No one. Skip to the good part. The ‘watching netflix while snacking on a bag of pretzel slims with no makeup on’ part. The part where he could cook you dinner (which he does every night) and if you hate it, you could actually be honest about it and not have to do that polite ‘I guess I will eat it anyways’ thing.

4. You want the mystery. The guy who doesn’t make any sense and is super vague about what he does with his time. He could be a spy or play too much World Of Warcraft or maybe he’s just a serial killer. You’ll never know. Until he’s arrested.

5. You want the best friend aspect. Someone who is your best friend. The guy who knows everything about you, the good and the bad and loves every bit of it. Even your love for cats and obsession with Desperate Housewives and the fact you cry every time you watch The Great Gatsby, which you watch together every other Friday.

6. You want the jealousy. Like Nick Jonas level jealousy. He’ll write a cute song about it and then go shirtless in a steamy photo shoot, (on a completely unrelated note but I mean come on, that was a sexy photo shoot). So as long as he isn’t the ‘crazy overly-attached boyfriend’ jealous type that texts you nonstop whenever you “go out”. Assuming you have some sort of social life where this example is plausible.

7. You want funny. The guy who makes you laugh the hardest you’ve ever laughed. Like you are always hysterical together about some dumb joke that was probably from a couple weeks before. You can’t even keep a straight face when you look at each other. So don’t go to a funeral together is what I’m getting at.

8. You want a good memory. Someone who knows your birthday, your favorite candy, who your best friend is, which pieces of furniture your cats have completely destroyed…the basics.

9. You want a similar path. Someone who is on the same page as you are in life. If you are with a 98 year old and you’re only 23, I’m assuming you’re thinking about different things and going in different directions. I mean sure, age doesn’t really matter. But make sure you are both heading towards the same ultimate goal. Like you may be looking for a new job or another cat and he may be wanting to update his will and make sure you both attend bingo night on Monday.

10. You want fun. Like ‘I can even have fun with you on a six hour flight’ kind of fun. And seriously who has fun with other people on an airplane? No one. That is where everyone is in their most antisocial state. No one gets on an airplane and says, “Gosh, I hope I sit next to someone who loves to talk.” No. We all hope we get the middle aged man reading a book on his Kindle who is way too into 50 Shades of Grey to even realize you’re sitting there. But if you find someone you actually want to interact with on a flight, keep them. And never let them go.