All I want for Christmas is....(No, not you)
Tis the season to be jolly and spend lots of money to prove our love to the people in our lives. Though this holiday season should very well be about the time we get to spend with our family and friends, we all know at the end of the day…we love stuff! Stuff is great. Stuff fills our hearts and our apartments. Screw those priceless moments, let’s be selfish for a second and talk gifts! There are a lotof things I want that I may never have, so I’ve compiled my own little Christmas list out of them!
A TIFFANY BLUE CHRISTMAS
Céline Mini Luggage Tote
All I’ve ever wanted is a bag that costs more than my own life. Ever since I was a little girl (more like 17, but you get the point), I’ve dreamt of owning my very own Céline luggage tote. I mean look at that bad boy! It would be the perfect Christmas gift from my imaginary sugar daddy.
A Fancy Apartment in NYC
Now, this really is quite a selfless gift if you think about it. Before you say, “Do you know how expensiveNYC is, you crazy cat lady?”, let me explain. My entire family keeps trying to get me to move back to the East Coast, which I’m all for, as long as that means living in luxury and on the Upper East Side (I know nothing about NYC, but I have watched every single episode of Gossip Girl). The only problem is, I’m not a millionaire. So until I come up with an idea for a silly new dating app or start singing like Adele, this one may take a while.
Scottish Fold Kitten
Do I even need to explain? Yes, I know I already have two cats. Yes, I know I live in a studio apartment, but come on! I’d welcome ten of these things into my home (large room) with open arms.
Okay, hang on. Not saying I want to, like, own him. I’m not (that) crazy! Just one date, that’s all! Is thattoo much to ask? Just some dinner… and drinks… and his hand in marriage. That all!
Starbucks For Life
This is a real contest going on right now. If only it was not against billions of people and a just matter of chance. Why can’t it be won in a round of Settlers of Catan? I’d crush every one of those suckers.
Armand de Brignac Brut Gold
Just the world’s most poppin’ Champagne (ha, get it?). I mean it’s not insanely expensive in general, but I don’t think I’ll be spending $300 on sparkling wine for quite a while. However, if anyone wants to buy my love in Champagne, this is the one to get.
A Rolex Watch
Because who has the time to reach all the way into their purse and pull out their phone to check what time it is? Not me! I’m only checking the time if it’s on my $20,000 watch.
A Personal Chef
I have a huge confession. My house only smells like vanilla cupcakes and sugar cookies because I have no self control when Bath & Body Works has a sale on candles. Truth is, I can’t really bake…or cook. Unless it’s chocolate chip cookies or rice. Soooo, who wants chocolate chip cookies and rice for dinner? Oh, no one? Okay, maybe I should get a personal chef. Does Bradley Cooper actually know how to cook? Because I’ll just take him if that’s easier.
I’ve spent my fair share of time walking through Neiman Marcus, drooling over these infamous red bottom stilettos. However, I cannot fathom the idea of spending that much on a pair of shoes. I know myself well enough to know that if I did buy a pair, I would wear them every single day, no matter what. “I don’t care if we’re going hiking, i spent $1,000 on these damn shoes!” I’m just kidding. I never go hiking.
Everything from Tiffany & Co.
Lastly, just like any other girl, I love myself some frost. (Please tell me you’ve seen How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days) Anyways, yea, just pack up the whole store and send it my way. But if that’s “too much”, I like anything rose gold and the more sparkle the better.